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I Am The Very Model of a Modern Pinterest Fucker-up

– Sonja Foust

With apologies to W.S. Gilbert’s libretto for I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General.

[This spoof originally appeared on]

I am the very model of a modern Pinterest fucker-up
I’ve done ‘em all from modpodgey to recipe to Jello cup
I read the right instructions, but I often do not follow ‘em
I post ‘em up for folks to read, but they can barely swallow ‘em
I’m very well acquainted, too, with people who are humorless
I understand that they are just the loser-y of loser-est
But those who stick around to read leave comments so hysterical
That managing a coffee sip without a snarf’s a miracle